By Les Barbanell

Many of us are accountable for taking good care of an getting older mother or father, an ill wife, or a handicapped baby and achieve this out of affection, devotion, or legal responsibility, and so on have caretaking occupations within the components of nursing, social paintings, counseling, and so forth. yet there are different much less benign caretakers in our midst. those humans have an over the top must be wanted, and so they imagine the caretaking position now not out of affection, legal responsibility, or collection of career yet because of subconscious motivations over which they've got little keep an eye on. This habit to wonderful others should be as debilitating as substance addictions.

Les Barbanell exhibits that this dependancy, which he calls "caretaker character disorder," mask mental conflicts and will be a self-destructive strength resulting in exhaustion, vacancy, even suicide. Barbanell offers concepts for studying to decline, retraining one's concentration from others to oneself, gaining freedom from previous traumas and abuse, and studying to precise instead of repress emotions that allows you to discover a stability among kindness and a pathological point of selflessness. This publication is a must-read for these being affected by the dependancy to delight, their households, and psychotherapists and counselors who paintings with them.

Praise for Les Barbanell's Removing the masks of Kindness

"Barbanell delineates the pathological part of selflessness and argues, because the identify indicates, that kindness can function a mental mechanism for concealing emotional problems….The writer successfully charts the defining features of a heretofore-unrecognized diagnostic class: caretaker character ailment (CPD). …Recommended." -CHOICE

"Les Barbanell unearths a brand new and surprising safeguard mechanism that folks use to concealed mental conflicts. The caretaker character sickness is helping clarify why an accommodating, sacrificing person, who's continuously excited by others, can prove depressing and feeling incomplete. A needs to learn for someone within the assisting professions."
-United States organization fo

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Extra info for Breaking the Addiction to Please: Goodbye Guilt

Example text

Therapists, for example, experience emotions in therapy sessions but they are trained to harness and even suppress them while treating patients. ” Accordingly we do not practice emotional celibacy in the purest form (my apologies, Dr. Freud). With reference to psychotherapists, restraint rather than emotional celibacy may be the more apt term. There are also those individuals among us that for religious, moral, spiritual and other reasons consciously suppress their needs for sexual gratification.

Do you feel people really know you? 27 3 MASK OR MASQUERADE? I have often wondered about the hierarchy of priorities in our free society. At times, when I reflect upon what some people choose to think is important I am not clear how those choices came about. Is it the media telling us what is important? Does financial success and its advantages overloading us about the importance of money? Why is it so important to be good-looking, sexy or famous? A sign of the times is the phenomenon that a sexy, modestly talented twenty-year-old woman with a shapely body can earn ten times more money than a surgeon.

He was precisely on time for each session and took it upon himself to end each session exactly when his forty-five minutes were at hand. He wore a three-piece suit irrespective of the season of the year. His eyewear invariably matched the color of his suit. He offered to tell me that he had twelve suits and tinted glasses to match each one of them. ” He had not missed a session in nearly nine months until one day he called in a panic state. ” I recall reflecting that his feelings had to find an outlet somehow.

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