By Susie Jones

"It is an effective factor for an uneducated guy to learn books of quotations."  —Sir Winston Churchill Ever been perplexed? Ever needed you had the best put-down or wry comment for each socially awkward scenario? the good, the nice, the highbrow, and the downright insulting can all be present in Brit Wit. Densely overpopulated with marvelous one-liners from such bold figures as Churchill and Shakespeare, to the newer luminaries of British degree, monitor, and society, Brit Wit celebrates all that makes Britain extraordinary. we're amused.

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Prince Charles H The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. Herbert Spencer, philosopher (1820-1903) H Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides. Margaret Thatcher H Tony Blair puts two poems in a bus shelter and calls it a university. pmd 63 23/08/2004, 12:30 Brit Wit The President is a cross-eyed Texan warmonger, unelected, inarticulate, who epitomises the arrogance of American foreign policy.

Ken Dodd, comedian H There are three ways of losing money: racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, and farming the most certain. pmd 42 23/08/2004, 12:30 Work and Money Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. Attributed to Oscar Wilde H Lack of money is the root of all evil. George Bernard Shaw H There’s no money in poetry, but then there’s no poetry in money, either. pmd 43 23/08/2004, 12:30 Brit Wit We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to.

P. G. Wodehouse, writer (1881-1975) H One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. Muriel Spark, novelist and satirist H In university they don’t tell you that the greater part of the law is learning to tolerate fools. Doris Lessing, writer H Success is a great deodorant. It takes away all your past smells. pmd 55 23/08/2004, 12:30 Brit Wit Politics The best argument against democracy is a fiveminute conversation with the average voter. Winston Churchill H In war, you can only be killed once, but in politics, many times.

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